Not my first boom

I’m realizing I’m in the middle of an emotional battle, while being stuck in the middle of a war. I worked late last night and crawled in my bed around 10:30, and, about an hour later, I was still tossing and not sleeping. Standard night, until I heard a whiz and then an ear-piercing boom and felt the whole building shake underneath me. Girls woke up screaming, and I rolled clumsily onto the ground. A rocket hit, and, judging by the noise-level, I knew I was close to those feeling more than just a jolt. I know what I’m supposed to do in that situation, but you never know what you will actually do. I got up, barely dressed, and hauled my shivering butt to the bunker. I called my friend, and I prayed wildly for good news on coworkers, as the operations team head-counted. Everyone is safe. I haven’t slept, and I haven’t taken a deep breath yet today. I’m calming down slowly, and I wish exhaustion could cure the restlessness.

I allow myself to get out of bed around 4:30 every morning. I’ve been awake for hours normally, but it’s an acceptable hour to rise for me and about 5 other runners. It’s peaceful, and it’s eery. Every morning feels like the beautiful calm before, well, you know. I love mornings, and focusing on that helps me get through the night. It won’t change, but it will get better.

Ok, shifting the conversation. I’m running the Army 10-miler next month here, and that whole Boston run convinced my coworkers to make me the bearer of Fluor’s hopes for a victory. If I don’t win, I hear I’m not welcome back in the office, and I generally try to avoid that degree of shame. But, I’ve seen some of these folks run, and I’m literally in their Afghan dust. I still eat ice cream every night, and the scooper still asks, ‘one or two scoops?’ every single trip. I am a two-scooper, and he knows me by name and flavor, but obviously not scoops.

I see funny things all the time. The guy at lunch, drinking a Beck’s non-alcoholic brew out of a straw. The ‘fire hidrant’ sign near the office. Jingle trucks with loofahs hanging as rearview mirror ornaments.

The coffee isn’t made, and that’s a productivity FAIL. I’m going to rectify that situation and potentially do more work.

Love you all.